| Beer Chess
Beer Chess is chess played with beer as the pieces.
PLAYING THE GAME
Beer chess is played with beer, a lot of beer. One side uses Light
Beer (white), the other side uses regular (black) of the same brands.
(see list below) Our research and development team has concluded
that one can expect a standard Beer Chess game to last up to five
hours, assuming neither player passes out. Intermissions, however,
may be declared on a bilateral basis.
BOARD CONSTRUCTION
As you may have realized, this game requires a big board. While
beer chess boards are now commonplace in Jackman, in other places
their availability is still limited.
Again, our R+D team has arrived at a clever solution: Bathroom tiles-large
white bathroom tiles. Placed on a darker table at regular intervals,
one can quickly construct a professional looking Beer Chess set.
For and even cheaper board, cardboard coasters, available at most
bars, serve as impromptu, portable boards.
PIECES
White: Black:
8 pawns: Bud Lights (8oz can) Budweiser (8oz cans)
2 Rooks: Miller Light (12oz can) Miller Genuine Draft (12 oz Can)
2 Knights: Busch Light (12 oz Can) Busch (12 oz Cans)
2 Bishops: Coors Light (12 oz Can) Coors (12 oz Cans)
Queen: Michelob Light (Bottle) Michelob (Bottle)
King: Bud Light (Bottle) Budweiser (Bottle)
STANDARD RULES
When one moves a piece, one must sip from the piece moved.
When one's piece is captured, one must drink the entire piece.
Castling requires two sips: one from the King, one from the Rook
En passent requires only one sip (as in a standard pawn move)
When one's pawn reaches the eighth rank, and is exchanged for a
queen (or other piece), one's opponent must drink the remainder
of the pawn.
Once a piece is sipped, that piece must be moved. (taking back moves
is not allowed)
One may take as long as one wants to drink a captured piece, but
the piece must be quickly consumed when a second piece is captured.
After each exchange of pieces, the players must toast each other's
health with the exchanged pieces.
When one is put in check, one must sip from the King.
Passing out constitutes a resignation.
A player may not go the the bathroom before his move.
When one is checkmated, one must drink:
The remainder of one's King
The remainder of opponent's King
The remainder of one's pieces.
(That's a lotta beer)
GENERAL HINTS
Take big sips out of pieces you expect to trade, when moving those
pieces. This technique evenly distributes the amount of beer you
will consume, and decreases the amount you will have to drink from
that piece when it is traded or captured.
If you are a light drinker, avoid exchanges (especially if you
are down a piece)
Avoid sacrificing pieces for position. A sacrifice will only force
you to drink more. Remember, in this game, you can be beating your
opponent, not only by the fact that you have a greater number of
pieces left on the board, but also by the fact that you have a greater
number of surviving brain cells left.
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